Author: Alisa Chagnon -br
Source: articledashboard.combr
br
Being single certainly isnt easy at times…maybe for you, its down-right unbearable. Each year that I get older, I feel more and more discouraged that I havent found the one. Maybe most of your friends are married (as mine are)…that just makes it worse. I dont CARE if theyre miserable… theyre MARRIED! And if youre saying to yourself that your perfectly fine being alone…are you being completely honest? Even if you have a great career, wonderful children, and/or a fantastic social life…there are those moments when we wish we had someone with us. For example, when theres a mouse in your home. Now, that is a FREAKING EMERGENCY, in my eyes. One of the LAST things that I want to do on this GOD GIVEN EARTH is go head-to-head with a nose-twitching mouse. Im one of those people that WILL jump on a kitchen chair, if I see a mouse. Its done by pure instinct. I have NO control over these matters.

Same goes for a spider. I might be too lazy to EVER use my eliptical machine, but if a spiders in my house, Im jumping around and running as if my thongs are on fire. What about when something breaks on your car ? One of the WORST feelings is if you leave your house in the morning to go to work, and you see your car has a flat. At that point, I just go back inside, call Love Bulletin and tell them I wont be in. If someone paid me a thousand bucks to properly change a tire, they would be keeping the money in their own pocket. Breaking down on the highway is no better. I dont care about this womans independence movement… I jump out of my car and flag down a man! Even if Ive called a tow truck, youre DAMN RIGHT that I want a man near me while I wait. Im not going to sit in my car or stand on the side of the road while lethal weapons are zipping by me. When do I need a man the MOST ? It could be when its that time of the month… Thats when we single woman could use a man…when we need him to run to the store to grab us tampons, as we lay in bed in pain. And while hes at it, he could put away the laundry…you know…the clothes that have been sitting folded, on top of the dryer for about 3 weeks…and the kids and I just use the dryer top as a sort of closet.

When DONT I need a man? Well lets see…when Desperate Housewives are on TV. CERTAINLY dont need him in the way of THAT, trying to steal the remote. And its always the same thing, Honey, Ill just flip through while the commercial is on. Do they EVER really get you back to your show on time ? I KNOW I dont need a man to see me eating Frosted Flakes at 2 am, while I am preparing my next article for Love Bulletin. I doubt Id feel comfortable while hes staring at my face. WHY? Because at night, my face is holding about 5 pounds of products on it. Its AMAZING the weight of them doesnt stretch my face out. Lets see, theres under-eye cream, 2 different adult acne medicines, face toner, wrinkle cream for my neck, wrinkle cream for my forehead and impending crows feet and lets not forget the whitening stripes that I have stuck to my teeth. If you top all of that off with the 6 year old sweats I wear, I look like a real winner.

And …I guess… I dont need a man immediately… as I finish this column and think about my day tomorrow… I realize it will be filled with things I need to do…hed probably just get in the way…Ill be REALLY busy with work…I dont really have much time for a man tomorrow…So, DO I NEED A MAN OR DONT I ? I think Ill leave THIS one up to God. If its meant to be, itll happen. Oh, and wish me luck that my car has four good tires on it tomorrow morning, huh ? Thanks!/pbr
br
br
br